I didn’t wake up feeling great. My throat hurt, my sinuses were clogged, and I had that internal conversation: go, or don’t go? I felt better after my morning routine, so I got in the car. I was already grateful that I’d cancelled a reservation earlier in the week, because immediately I realized this wasn’t going to be the trip I’d mapped out. Not feeling well gave me permission to be loose. Highly Likely. Photo by Jessica Nichole. The drive into town made me nervous for a mo

I’m standing at the corner of Jefferson in downtown Portland, pretending I’m just waiting for the light—but really, I’m arguing with myself. My GPS is still mumbling directions in my AirPods, even though by now I know my way back to the hotel. I leave it on because it makes me feel safe, like there’s a grown-up in the room. City noise in the background, that little robotic voice in my ear, boots on the pavement—it’s all starting to feel familiar. The crosswalk timer starts co

Coming out of survival mode can feel disorienting — even in the middle of a beautiful trip. The nervous system doesn’t instantly recognize safety — not because we’re doing anything wrong, but because it spent years bracing for impact. When life finally softens, the body still waits for the next blow. And that tension can show up even while traveling: financial anxiety on a trip that’s already paid for, guilt after joy, hesitation after pleasure, second-guessing decisions that

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